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It's About Choosing

OK, this is kind of embarrassing… nope, it is totally embarrassing!

I was just literally doing the exact thing I am writing about not doing.

I was listening to painful, negative self-talk that was saying “what is the point” “you are no good at this” “no one is interested” “your ministry is pointless”... And the worst part? It went on most of the afternoon leaving me in this clouded, gloomy state.

And then it hit me; I was getting sucked in to a trap of lies.

I laughed! I laughed at the irony!

I prayed. I stopped giving the garbage talk any more space in my thinking. The rest of my day was restored. And BOOM! Just like that I began to act like a victor instead of a victim.

WHEW!! That was a close one!

What a crazy segue into my blog; but anyway, here we go...


Walking past my bedroom door, I could hear her mutter in her matter-of-fact tone “You can choose to sit in your room and have a bad day or you can choose to feel better and go out and enjoy your day.”

It was not what I wanted to hear.

I was quite comfortable in my teenage pouting, feel-sorry-for-myself state that I was in. I did not need to hear about some grown-up, positive speaking, self-talk.

I wanted to blame everyone else. And for darn sure, there was no way I wanted to take any of the blame upon myself for the rotten condition of my day or how I was feeling.

But, my mother was right.

Since that day there have been many more similar days of being so defeated, no energy to fight the familiar, almost comfortable self-talk, and successfully having a rotten day.

A day where God was not gloried as I was drowning in my hurt and self pity. A day where things weren’t so fun for my kids. A day where I was barely treading water as an employee. A day that would sometimes turn into two or three days and the longer it went the harder it was to conjure up a healthy conversation with myself.

A conversation that would remind me that God was in control. That I didn’t have to figure it all out. That I was not a failure. That I was loved. That I was wanted. That I had a purpose.

And yes, there were days that I had no fight left in me at all.

And those are the days we need to catch onto ourselves quickly. If we are not careful we will try taking other measures to camouflage the pain we are feeling from the negative self-talk. We need to ask ourselves “What is really going on here”. We need to find out what the bottom line is. Once we find out what the self-talk narrative is we can speak against it with truth and kindness. We can pray against it. We can take control of our thoughts and ask God to protect our minds. We can ask God to bring to mind scriptures of encouragement. We can leave the enemy defeated at his attempt to ruin our day, and we can choose to have a fabulous day!

Protect your mind. Take hold of your thoughts. Reflect on scripture. Realize the enemy is working overtime to fill your head with lies and ultimately destroy you and your witness.

Praying your days are filled with thoughts on how truly and uniquely wonderful you are



"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

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