Updated: Jul 14
Is this white flag I am flying a sign that I have truly given up?
YES! Yes, it is.
I just don’t care anymore!... It just … doesn’t … matter!
At first it was quite alarming.
It took me weeks of soul searching to really understand exactly what had been going on. I thought maybe I was depressed. Not caring just seemed so unnatural.
But now? Now I get it.
Yes, that’s right, I don’t care anymore. It has all lost its appeal and become but useless flattery.
You see the flag I am flying is actually a flag of victory. Victory in this battle against the enemy. And what have I given up? I have given up that sought after approval I have been trying to earn most of my life.
So am I really flying a flag and giving up? Hallelujah! You bet I am!!!
I think back upon how important the applause was to me not that long ago. The importance of having a perfect home to showcase; validating my success as a woman and a wife. The importance of being the perfect weight with the perfect appearance; validating my worth as a woman. The importance of my relationships, trying to be accepted by my peers, thinking this validates my success as a person, perhaps even being of envy in some ways. Always searching for worth.
I think back… I think back and am ashamed at how self-serving I have been in so many ways.
Now? Now I don’t care… but in a healthy way.
The worldly accolades have lost their appeal.
What is gained if I achieve all this validation of my worth? Who is watching? Who is impressed? Oh yay! Look at me go!! I have a pretty home, aren’t I clever. My weight hit the right number on my scale, my life is now complete. This time on earth is but a fleeting moment compared to eternity. This time on earth spent living for accolades and man’s applause is a complete, selfish waste of God’s gifts, blessings and resources. It’s not going to affect my effectiveness in a world that is lost. It will not earn my worth.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I truly believe God wants us to enjoy the beauty of this earth. I believe He values order. I believe He wants His children to experience life to the fullest. I don’t believe God wants us all to live in poverty and chaos being penniless. But, what I do believe is that we should all be good stewards of the money, resources and time He has blessed us with. I believe He will direct each of us individually, according to His will and purpose for our lives.
So what does matter?
Love God. Seek God. Serve God well.
Searching for joy, love, purpose, acceptance, through things of this world will give you an empty return. God will fill your cup to overflowing. God will fill your heart with His Love. God will give you His Joy. God will accept you. God loves you and has a purpose for your life… anything else is an unfulfilling, self-serving quest. Your worth is in Him.
To determine whether you are serving self or serving God try doing a personal inventory. Before you are about to say or do something, ask yourself “what is your motive”. If you are truly, truly honest with yourself it will quickly become clear who you are serving.
Example: When I am trying to keep my focus on serving God and not self I often find myself ending a sentence midway having to awkwardly confess why I’m not completing my sentence. My motive was to perhaps brag or criticize or even gossip. I get a check in my spirit and I know that if I continue speaking I will be serving self at perhaps the expense of my listener.
Another example: I LOVE to decorate and have spent many, many hours and resources doing so. When one of my decorating projects is complete, in the past I have wanted to take a photo and post it online for my “friends” to see; I am wanting to show off my talent, my ideas, and my possessions. Why? So I can look smart? So I can impress others? So I can show everyone how talented I am? So people can send me compliments and applaud me? My motive is to serve self.
If I was serving God, instead I might think about how the person who can’t afford what I can afford when they see my photo? How will the person who isn’t good at decorating feel? How will the person feel whose marriage is falling apart and household is upside down, who on a good day feels they don’t measure up to others' standards. Suddenly, showing off how beautiful my home is or how clever I might think I am has lost its appeal.
Instead, what if I were to keep a nice home, have fun creating, and continue with my projects. God knows I really enjoy decorating and creating and loves to delight my heart. And then, when someone stops by I could welcome them into my beautiful home, I could love on them, spend time caring about them, shining God’s love upon them. Serving self or serving God, which will have the better return?
**BIG CLOSING CLENCHER
So, why make the change? Why fly the flag and stop caring about man’s applause? Why stop searching for those empty accolades? Why put your energy into God’s plans instead of self plans?
It’s simple. “Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25
God will show up in a way you could never imagine. The more you focus on things of God the more His character becomes a part of you. And, the more you know God the easier it is to truly find your life.
“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ is God” Colossians 3:3 “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?” 1 Corinthians 3:16
You will no longer need man’s approval. Your identity is in Christ alone. Your worth is proven by the cross
You. Are. Loved.
Blessings friends. Praying God will show you your true worth in Him. Praying you find your life in Him.