Updated: Oct 19
Lies that were once loud and well rehearsed had become distant, faded whispers.
For so long my choices made no sense. I came from a good, Christian home, raised by kind, loving parents. I was a relatively intelligent, driven girl with a flair of talent and charisma. Why was this happening? Why was I making so many bad choices? Why was I not behaving the way I knew I should. I was constantly living in terrible regret, hating myself for the challenging consequences I continuously found myself and my children in.
I’ll tell you why… because I had terrible self worth. I had myself so low on the scale that I needed to be with someone *lower to make me feel better. If I was with someone who made worse decisions then I did, the scale tipped in my favour.
How did I get such low self worth?? It started with lies the enemy planted in my mind when I was a little girl. Lies that said “I wasn’t what anyone wanted” “I was a disappointment” “I was a screw up”. And the hurt that came from those lies drove me to make bad choices which then in turn made the lies seem so much more believable.
Drowning in consequences, I finally got help. I committed to a “group therapy” Christ centered program and praise God, my life changed.
I began to understand the younger me and where all the wounds began. I learned about the lies that were planted in that little girl's head and I got angry. Angry at the enemy for stealing so much joy from the younger me. I was angry that I had been deceived! That myself and my children were living in consequences made because of those lies. That anger drove me to take control over what I was believing and change the conversation.
The lies that were loud and well rehearsed became faded whispers. They had less and less power over me. I stopped believing the lies and started believing God’s truths about myself. The truths that say I am wanted. That I am dearly loved. That I am chosen. That my Heavenly Father is the King of Kings and I am His cherished daughter. That I am renewed. I am forgiven and a new person in Him.
Forgive the younger you. You made choices because you was hurting. Tell yourself just how dearly loved you are by your Heavenly Father. Choose to believe the truths that He says about you. Recognize the lies from the enemy and no longer give them a place in your mind or your heart. God says that you are “the apple of His eye” (Deuteronomy 32:10), “blessed” (Galatians 3:9), and “chosen” (I Thessalonians 1:4).
*Lower standards of lifestyle choices not lower in value.